What’s Love Got To Do With It?

What’s Love Got To Do With It?

 

Every once in a while I read a quote or hear something that stops me. I’ll read and reread the quote or listen to the statement again and again. This quote recently gave me pause:

“NOT ALL OF US CAN DO GREAT THINGS. BUT WE CAN DO SMALL THINGS WITH GREAT LOVE.” — Mother Teresa

I’m not surprised that this quote caught my attention. The past year has been busy. Several friends and family members with various medical and/or aging needs called on me. It seemed that I’d get one squared away only for another to appear.

Often, especially early in the year, I was more than happy to help. I have a talent for assessing situations and quickly knowing what to do. I am organized and quite resourceful. My husband and I even joked about it. “Is this our reward for staying healthy and fit into our later years?” we’d laugh.

At some point, things changed. It wasn’t a strong feeling at first – just a mild impatience and slight irritation. I soon noticed a familiar feeling – obligation. I could almost hear my mother’s voice telling me how I “should” behave and what I owe people less fortunate than me. The fun and joy of doing for others evaporated.

Then I read the quote from Mother Teresa. Was love the missing ingredient?

Soon after reading the quote, I had a coaching call with a client who owns a small business. Over a year ago she hired someone to join her team who looked like a good fit on paper.

He wasn’t.

In spite of spending many hours coaching him, his performance hadn’t improved and his behavior was becoming disruptive. She knew she had to terminate him but was worried.

Did I do enough to help him?How would he support his family without a job?

Would he react badly to the termination and cause problems?

Etc.

After listening to her ruminations I shared the quote and my reflective question about love as the missing ingredient. I could tell she was touched but she didn’t say much and we ended the coaching session.

Several days later I received an email from this same client. Love came back into the picture, she wrote. Her conversation went much better than she expected and she worked out an equitable outcome with her employee. Turns out you can terminate someone with love.

Turns out love has everything to do with it.

Another realization hit me. For both myself and my client, it did not take much to find love again. Remove the obligation (for me) or the worry (for her) and love simply showed up. It seems like love is always percolating under the surface, waiting for us to notice. When we do notice, doing even small things with love is its own reward. And the ultimate motivator.

The holiday season with the new year approaching is a fine time for reflection. Where does love come from?  Can love infuse the actions of your life?

With Love,

Sandy Krot