Welcome to Insights and Implications!
This month, Robin Charbit shares what he sees about the mind’s capacity to bring insight. To borrow a phrase from Mick Jagger, “We can’t always get what we want…but we get what we need.” Thanks Robin for your contribution.
All of us at Insight Principles
Not Getting What You Want?
Sometimes you get what you don’t want. I’m not referring to the ugly socks you got at Christmas. I’m referring to events that happen that are unplanned and unwelcomed.An extreme example is the death of someone dear. Or it could be losing your job, or being assigned to a job you don’t like. More frequently, it’s the small things: your plane is canceled, you miss a show you really wanted to see, the weather interferes with plans, or someone takes your parking space.
There will always be gaps between what you want and what you get.
Before I understood the inside-out nature of life and the profound wisdom flowing through it, I would do a number of things to try to “cope” when life did not go my way:
- I would assess/plan/maneuver so the next time I’d get what I want.
- I would complain.
- I would stew on “my lot” and the unfairness of it.
- I would try to put lipstick on the pig (my apologies to the pig).
These strategies took much mental effort and worked only moderately well, if at all.
While I knew that I did not control everything in life, I still worked hard at controlling my circumstances. When I realized how my mind worked, I saw something new: my experience of life was actually crafted inside my mind through thought. I didn’t have to try to control my circumstances because my experience wasn’t coming from the circumstances. And I realized that new thought would come, bringing with it options and useful ideas.
When people go through the same difficult event – a natural disaster or a violent encounter – some do quite well, others fall apart. Some feel gratitude, others are angry.
And some are initially devastated and later find peace or even purpose.
This is possible because the mind gives insight and realization.
You have benefitted from insight and realization since the day you were born. At around 9 months old, the development of your brain allowed you to realize that you were, in fact, an individual, separate entity. Shortly thereafter, you realized this means you can be abandoned or left behind. YIKES! This is why babies at this age get clingy.
How come you are not still clinging to your parents?
Your mind brings you the new thinking you need to make sense of what is happening. This is why you have accommodated the changes throughout life: the arrival of a sibling, the first day of school, leaving home for university, your first job, getting married, becoming a parent, and on and on.
When allowed, your mind will always provide the thinking you need. When life seems to throw you a curveball or a banana skin, rather than struggle psychologically to cope, you have the option of allowing the deep wisdom in you to show you something new. The more you see how the mind works, the less you get in the way of this brilliant mechanism.
Does this mean you won’t suffer sadness or discomfort? Of course not. When you understand the brilliance of your mind, you know that suffering can be relieved without you having to make that happen. In the same way that you leave a strained muscle alone, knowing that the innate design of the body knows how to heal it.
Wishing you all a life full of insight for whatever comes your way.