Welcome to Insights and Implications!
Although your insights are undoubtedly helpful to you, they might not always help those around you. Read on for an explanation and some hints on an alternate strategy for helping.
We hope you are having a wonderful start to the fall season. As always, feel free to get in touch with us with quesitons, concerns, or insights! We love hearing from you.
All the best,
All of us at Insight Principles
“It’s Just Your Thinking”
“It’s just your thinking,” Jerry told a stressed-out Elizabeth. She looked at him with a mixture of irritation and confusion. She wanted to give her new boss the benefit of the doubt – maybe he was just trying to help.
Jerry was indeed trying to help Elizabeth. He recently attended an Insight Principles program and was struck by the statement, “you feel your thinking.” For days afterward, these words came to Jerry’s mind, and he began to see their truth. To his surprise, his stress level diminished despite the rigors of Q1, his busiest time of year. When he stopped blaming his feelings on his circumstances, his mind cleared. Something new and more effective came to him.
But he was missing the proverbial boat with Elizabeth. Why?
The words, “you feel your thinking” are not what helped Jerry. Jerry had an insight and saw a deeper truth, something beyond the words, for himself.
When Jerry visited Elizabeth the next day he apologized for blurting out advice without learning what she needed. As Jerry listened to Elizabeth, he could tell she had a good handle on her new role and was worrying unnecessarily. He inquired more about her experience and then he asked her if she would like him to explain what he meant when he said, “it’s just your thinking.” Elizabeth’s interest was now truly piqued, and she was genuinely interested, so Jerry shared more about what he understood about thought.
As Jerry got up to leave Elizabeth said, “Thanks Jerry, I feel more relaxed.” “Can you see that your thinking changed?” asked Jerry. Elizabeth smiled and replied, “You know, you’re right!”
Telling other people our own personal insights is not as effective as we expect. Everybody’s thinking is unique, and therefore, their experience will look real to them in a unique way. Because of this, someone else may not necessarily need the insight that helped you so much.
Listen first and notice if there is an opening before trying to help.
©Insight Principles, Inc.