Welcome to Insights and Implications!
Welcome to the first Insights and Implications of 2018. We hope the new year is off to a good start. This month we are looking at the phenomenon of a “daymare” – like a nightmare, only it happens during the day. Please read on.
All the best,
All of us at Insight Principles
Awakening from a Daymare
You’ve had nightmares. You know, the kind where someone is after you and you can’t speak and you can’t move. When you wake up and realize you are dreaming, it’s a relief.
There are also daymares. A daymare is being caught up in a thought-created reality and not knowing it. Waking up from a daymare is also a relief.
You live in a psychological experience created through your capacity to think and your capacity to be conscious or aware. Together, thought and consciousness create a vivid and incredibly real experience within your mind. It’s tricky though, because it often seems like the outside world created the experience. For example, you are stressed because of your workload. Your frustration is caused by another’s inefficiency. The cold weather bums you out.
When you forget what is really happening, it’s like being in a dream, unable to act. However, when you insightfully see in the moment that thought is the only thing crafting your reality, it’s like waking up from a dream.
One of our clients described what happened when she woke up from her daymare. We’ll call her Barbara. Barbara attended a presentation given by a team member. She always has lots of questions, and her habit is to ask them in rapid-fire succession. Presenters get rattled and the discussion often stalls.
One day, Barbara noticed something: a feeling of urgency as questions formulated in her head. Prior to learning about how the mind works, Barbara did not register her urgent feeling. Now, she is certain it had been a near constant companion, especially at work.
The first “wake-up call” was the feeling of urgency. Barbara thought, “Damn right I’m urgent, we are discussing critical stuff.” Then she got another wake up call. Was the feeling of urgency coming from the critical nature of the subject matter?
Barbara realized that her urgent feeling could only be coming from one place – her thinking. She noticed that the urgency made her a poor listener and a frequent interrupter. When she saw the urgent thinking made no sense it just fell away. This small shift in awareness made a big difference.
Yes, there are important, even urgent circumstances. However, these circumstances do not have the power to make you feel a certain way. The power in life is not in the circumstances. The human mind is designed with the power inside.
The human mind is also energized by an infinite source of wisdom flowing through everything, able to bring you an endless supply of new thoughts.
Which is exactly what happened to Barbara. Without urgency, she was able to listen attentively to the presentation. She did ask questions but the questions were either clarifying or they moved the discussion forward. People remarked later that her questions were very helpful and prompted important dialogue.
Will Barbara get urgent again and not notice, or notice and blame her circumstances? Probably. Falling asleep and having daymares is the human condition. Each time you realize you are in a daymare, though, you have the opportunity to learn something and to change.
It’s a perfect system.
– Sandy Krot